Category Archives: Friday Morning Humor

Friday Morning Humor: Pearls before Swine

A great Pearls Before Swine cartoon that lets all of us bloggers know that we shouldn’t always take ourselves to seriously because no matter how clever or insightfull we think we are, there will always be someone who doesn’t agree and who is looking to bring us down …. (you know who you are) ^-^

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Friday Morning Humor: A Few Blonde Jokes

I know it isn’t very politically correct to make fun of women but everyone loves a good “Blonde” joke every now and then to lighten up the day:

CAR TROUBLE

A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it died..

After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly..

She says, “What’s the story?”

He replies, “Just crap in the carburetor.”

She asks, “How often do I have to do that?”

AT THE DOCTOR’S OFFICE

A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor’s office and said that her body hurt wherever she touched it.

“Impossible!” says the doctor. “Show me.”

The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left shoulder and screamed, then she pushed her elbow and screamed even more. She pushed her knee and screamed;

likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she touched made her scream.

The doctor said, “You’re not really a redhead, are you?

“Well, no” she said, “I’m actually a blonde.”

“I thought so,” the doctor said. “Your finger is broken.”

BLONDE ON THE SUN

A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day.

The Russian said, “We were the first in space!”

The American said, “We were the first on the moon!”

The Blonde said, “So what? We’re going to be the first on the sun!”

The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads. “You can’t land on the sun, you idiot! You’ll burn up!” said the Russian.

To which the Blonde replied, “We’re not stupid, you know. We’re going at night!”

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Friday Morning Humor: How I Learned to Mind My Own Business

I was walking past the mental hospital the other day,
And all the patients were shouting, ’13….13….13.’
The fence was too high to see over, but I saw a Little gap in the planks,
so I looked through to see what was going on…..
Some idiot poked me in the eye with a stick!!!
Then they all started shouting ’14….14….14’…

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More Friday Morning Humor: Biker and the Lion

A Harley rider is passing the zoo, when he sees a little girl leaning into the lion’s cage. Suddenly, the lion grabs her by the cuff of her jacket and tries to pull her inside to slaughter her, under the eyes of her screaming parents. The biker jumps off his bike, runs to the cage and hits the lion square on the nose with a powerful punch. Whimpering from the pain the lion jumps back letting go of the girl, and the biker brings her to her terrified parents, who thank him endlessly.

A New York Times reporter has watched the whole event. The reporter says, ‘Sir, this was the most gallant and brave thing I saw a man do in my whole life.’

The biker replies, ‘Why, it was nothing, really, the lion was behind bars. I just saw this little kid in danger, and acted as I felt right.’

The reporter says, ‘Well, I’m a journalist from the New York Times, and tomorrow’s paper will have this story on the front page… So, what do you do for a living and what political affiliation do you have? ‘

The biker replies, ‘I’m a U.S. Marine and a Republican.’
The following morning the biker buys The New York Times to see if it indeed brings news of his actions, and reads, on front page:

U.S. MARINE ASSAULTS AFRICAN IMMIGRANT AND STEALS HIS LUNCH

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Filed under African Immigrant, biker, Friday Morning Humor, Harley Davidson, NY Times, U.S. Marine, Zoo

More Friday Morning Humor: Biker and the Lion

A Harley rider is passing the zoo, when he sees a little girl leaning into the lion’s cage. Suddenly, the lion grabs her by the cuff of her jacket and tries to pull her inside to slaughter her, under the eyes of her screaming parents. The biker jumps off his bike, runs to the cage and hits the lion square on the nose with a powerful punch. Whimpering from the pain the lion jumps back letting go of the girl, and the biker brings her to her terrified parents, who thank him endlessly.

A New York Times reporter has watched the whole event. The reporter says, ‘Sir, this was the most gallant and brave thing I saw a man do in my whole life.’

The biker replies, ‘Why, it was nothing, really, the lion was behind bars. I just saw this little kid in danger, and acted as I felt right.’

The reporter says, ‘Well, I’m a journalist from the New York Times, and tomorrow’s paper will have this story on the front page… So, what do you do for a living and what political affiliation do you have? ‘

The biker replies, ‘I’m a U.S. Marine and a Republican.’
The following morning the biker buys The New York Times to see if it indeed brings news of his actions, and reads, on front page:

U.S. MARINE ASSAULTS AFRICAN IMMIGRANT AND STEALS HIS LUNCH

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Filed under African Immigrant, biker, Friday Morning Humor, Harley Davidson, NY Times, U.S. Marine, Zoo

Friday Morning Humor


I know everyone reading this will enjoy it – no matter which sex you are.

This morning on the way to work, I looked over to my left and there was a woman in a brand new Cadillac  doing 75 mph with her face, up next to her rear view mirror putting on her eyeliner. 

I looked away for a couple seconds! And when I looked back she was halfway over in my lane, still working on that makeup.

As a man, I don’t scare easily. But she scared me so much;

I dropped my electric shaver, which knocked the donut out of my other hand.

In all the confusion of trying to straighten out the car using my knees against the steering wheel,  it knocked my cell phone away from my ear, which fell, into the coffee between my legs, splashed, and burned  “Big Jim and the Twins”, ruined the phone, soaked my trousers, and disconnected an important call.

Damn women drivers!!

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Filed under Cadillac, cell phone, coffee, Friday Morning Humor, woman drivers

Friday Morning Humor


I know everyone reading this will enjoy it – no matter which sex you are.

This morning on the way to work, I looked over to my left and there was a woman in a brand new Cadillac  doing 75 mph with her face, up next to her rear view mirror putting on her eyeliner. 

I looked away for a couple seconds! And when I looked back she was halfway over in my lane, still working on that makeup.

As a man, I don’t scare easily. But she scared me so much;

I dropped my electric shaver, which knocked the donut out of my other hand.

In all the confusion of trying to straighten out the car using my knees against the steering wheel,  it knocked my cell phone away from my ear, which fell, into the coffee between my legs, splashed, and burned  “Big Jim and the Twins”, ruined the phone, soaked my trousers, and disconnected an important call.

Damn women drivers!!

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Filed under Cadillac, cell phone, coffee, Friday Morning Humor, woman drivers