Category Archives: Holiday Humor

Some St. Patrick’s Day Humor

Here’s a little St. Patrick’s Day humor to start your morning.  It’s slightly off color but sure to put a smile on your face.

 Nookie Green:

 An Irish man went to confession in St. Patrick’s Catholic Church.

‘Father’, he confessed, ‘it has been one month since my last confession’. ‘I had sex with Nookie Green twice last month.’

The priest told the sinner, ‘You are forgiven. Go out and say three Hail Mary’s.’

Soon thereafter, another Irish man entered the confessional. ‘Father, it has been two months since my last confession. I’ve had sex with Nookie Green twice a week for the past two months.’

This time, the priest questioned, ‘Who is this Nookie Green?’  ‘A new woman in the neighborhood,’ the sinner replied.

‘Very well,’ sighed the priest. Go and say ten Hail Mary’s;  At mass the next morning, as the priest prepared to deliver the sermon,a tall, voluptuous, drop-dead gorgeous redheaded woman entered the sanctuary.

The eyes of every man in the church fell upon her as she slowly sashayed up the aisle and sat down right in front of the priest. Her dress was green and very short, and she wore matching, shiny emerald-green shoes.

The priest and the altar boy gasped as the woman in the green dress and matching green shoes sat with her legs spread slightly apart, but just enough to realize she wasn’t wearing any underwear.

The priest turned to the altar boy and whispered, ‘Is that Nookie Green?’

The bug-eyed altar boy couldn’t believe his ears but managed to calmly reply, ‘No Father, I think it’ s just a reflection from her shoes’.

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Filed under Holiday Humor, Nookie Green, St. Patrick's Day

Holiday Humor:Things you can only say @ Thanksgiving

Top 10 things you can only say at Thanksgiving!

10. Talk about a huge breast!
9. Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist.

8. If I don’t undo my pants, I’ll burst!
7. That’s one terrific spread!
6. It’s a little dry, do you still want to eat it?
5. Just wait your turn, you’ll get some!
4. Don’t play with your meat.
3. I didn’t expect everyone to come at once!
2. How long will it take after you stick it in?

and the Number #1 thing you can only say on
Thanksgiving….

1. I’m in the mood for a little dark meat.

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Filed under Holiday Humor, Thanksgiving

Holiday Humor:Things you can only say @ Thanksgiving

Top 10 things you can only say at Thanksgiving!

10. Talk about a huge breast!
9. Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist.

8. If I don’t undo my pants, I’ll burst!
7. That’s one terrific spread!
6. It’s a little dry, do you still want to eat it?
5. Just wait your turn, you’ll get some!
4. Don’t play with your meat.
3. I didn’t expect everyone to come at once!
2. How long will it take after you stick it in?

and the Number #1 thing you can only say on
Thanksgiving….

1. I’m in the mood for a little dark meat.

Leave a comment

Filed under Holiday Humor, Thanksgiving